screen test

photocollage of two views of the corner of 5th avenue and 49th street in manhattan, one from a May 2009 googlemaps screencap, overlaid with march 27, 2003, at the end of a protest against the iraq war. a young person in a maroon bucket hat, a t-shirt with a circular crossed out swastika, and platform flip-flops stands on the round aluminum railing of a "free speech zone" cordon and smiles at a news camera from the tbs channel

screen test

pro test

edging up against the more fake and merci-less

more mercy, less fake

real pain for my sham friends and champagne for my real friends again

rebellious girlness is for everybody

bleached reefs versus doomer juggalos, me lazy yearning for new futures, listless

real life, like that lake, exists

simultaneous friends in bar backyards, modern love

sitting in luxurious circles

fairy lights in the branches above

2018’s heavy clouds i mean mistakes like

“do you like him?” squinted at me and

i lied yes to both of us with a dissociative bile-heat body-high (why?)

rushing up from one of my center lines, esophagus

i lied and in paralyzed lying

i failed my friend!

in every end’s beginning is there some other beginning’s end?

new moon longing low mood, that is to say,

is your 2020 a y2k remake with the saturation turned up way too high too?

the suspension bridge wiggling with compound moire?

all my old crutches way too short, limp home mode

nightmares where i’m dragging on the ground froze mode , molasses mode

or cast up into the sky, unable to hold on,

both a wake-up call, flinching away from my dreams

slim liminal window, something about opportunity

dreams live in a little ribbon looping with wavelength and frequency

timing is everything and

location, location, location

jubilee zinevella, 3rd-time’s-a-charm edition

jubzine3

august 2020 and it feels like the future

when i started writing the story of jubilee zinevella in earnest, in january 2018, august 2020 really felt so far away, and now it’s here, and the story i wrote feels extra fantastic held up against our heavily-present present august 2020. Everything happens so much, said @horse_ebooks on twitter in June of 2012, which is still true.

this blog post is in honor of & a compilation of links & images both moving & still connected to the third-time’s-a-charm edition of jubilee zinevella, this time 21 copies; as before wearable & bespoke in their zinewear, custom fabric book covers on wire-rope handles strung with words made of letter beads a la the bracelets candy ravers like me trade with friends new & old on various dancefloors

the story of jubilee inside each zinevella is a quest and a question, and most of all a call for jubilee in this world, this 2020, where the need for redistribution of resources, forgiveness of debts and erasure of hoards, seems desperately needed to me, increasingly-desperately

off with their bank accounts!

(the things in italics are excerpts from the story)

if u are curious, u can read the story here as a google document, which might still change here & there/ has at least the potential for motion (tho the last edit at the time of my writing here was May 18, 2020), and here as a pdf, which is fixed still. If u find value in the story/ know anybody else that might, feel free to share/print the pdf freely (and i do mean freely).

as with the first two families of bespoke editions of this story, i plan to send these ones via mail to artists&friends i respect&admire, as well as artists&friends suggested by artists&friends who received prior editions themselves. this project is full of loops. i also asked prior recipients of jubilee zinevella if they had any material objects/images they wanted to contribute to the materiality of this edition, and i am very humbled & grateful & repeatedly moved to tears of poignant joy to have received & incorporated objects & images from hiba ali, sidony o’neal, penny goring, garima thakur, tabitha nikolai, anima correa, katie howard, hannah piper burns, holly childs, taylor hurley & dana dart-mclean. i also sewed in a scrap of calligraphy from jade novarino, a recipient of the first edition, who gave me a paper bag full of her practice sheets to tie in as i was working on the zinewear for the second edition. i had some left over.

i am also grateful to erika rier of the IPRC for kind patience & support during the printing & scanning processes, & david higel for tech support getting the scanned images of each zinevella out of the IPRC safely (8.7 gigs for 40 TIFFs! That’ll teach me not to check the file size when I save)

& to my daughter, Samimi, whom I love more than all else

Scanned images of each zinevella-in-their-zinewear below, front and back, acting as art each in their own way, playing with warped flatness, trompe l’oeil, & hands (ask me about my grudge against andrew norman wilson), resized to fit this blog post:

  1. boxng joggng

boxingoggnn1

boxingjogging2

2. bubbling kin (for samimi)

bubbling kin 1

bubbling kin 2

3.  conch knot

conch knot 1

conch knot 2

4 & 5. cool escape thingy & puppy face zone (i was running out of time during my appointment at IPRC so I scanned these two together)

cool & puppy 1

cool&puppy 2

6. cozy bromance

cozy bromance1

cozy bromance 2

7. deft punk

deft punk 1

deft punk 2

8. doomr jugglo

doomr jugglo1

doomr jugglo2

9. dwell & fumble & risk

dwellfumblerisk1

dwellfumblerisk2

10.  fake blood

fake blood 1

fake blood 2

11. jazzy roomba

jazzy roomba 1

jazzy roomba2

12. luxury fragment

luxury fragment 1

luxury fragment 2

13. marble tomorrow

marble tomorrow 1

marbletmrw2

14.  mossy invisibility

mossy invisibility1mossy invisibility 2

15. muddy joy

muddy joy 1

muddy joy 2

16. pinch snarl

pimch snarl 1

pinch snarl 2

17. plarny rantasm

plarny rantasm 1

plarny rantasm 2

18. shadow journey

shadow journey 1

shadow journey 2

19. sonic pink quilter

sonic pink quilter 1

sonic pink quilter 2

20. spongy liquid

spongy liquid 1

spongy liquid 2

21. surge loop

surge loop 2

surge loop 1

 

… and an unboxing video I made last night at 7:57 pm in my childhood backyard, where i talk in more depth & detail about each one & some of the meanings they connect to for me:

 

i will also be doing a bedtime-story reading of this edition of jubilee zinevella in a few days, Monday August 24 2020 at 7pm on streamyard, and there might be more content ribboning outward too, all in good time. Tune in if u feel!

with love ❤

jubilee zinevella, 2nd edition

jubzi2

jubilee zinevella is a work in progress, a story i am writing and then wrapping in artifacts and remnants, suspended on strong wires with usb-cord protectors and words made of letter beads a la candy-raver bracelets curled around them

this blog post is part of the second edition. 6 months after its first version, this project is inflected with more distance, shadows, haze

i put out the first edition and its concomitant blog post august 2019;

story suspended on beaded wire strings, wrapped in fabric

, i asked artists and friends i respect and admire if they would like one

ppl who said yes, i sent them a copy, wrapped in found gold foil and bubble wrap and S.W.A.K. off to the post office  (only one that i know of was lost in the mail/stolen from a doorstep after delivery)

the story wasn’t finished yet. the wip was and is still in progress.

i worked on the story for a few months more and wanted to send out another edition around the new year. Before i started fashioning this round of concrete objects a few months ago i reached out to the ppl i had sent the first editions to and asked them if they would like to contribute to round 2 in the form(s) of: things/ideas/adventures that might want to live in the story; favorite words to wrap around its wires; pretty trash and other remnants to incorporate into the zinewear; and ppl that might like a copy of the second edition.

i am very grateful to giovanna olmos, jade novarino, taryn tomasello, garima thakur, anima correa, and tabitha nikolai for their kind contributions to this second edition, and to all the artists and friends who were willing to bring the first edition of jubilee zinevella  into their lives/worlds.

looking forward to where jubilee zinevella second edition goes, once it goes out into the world as did its predecessor, into the hands of more artists and friends i respect and admire

here in this blog post it lives together. take a look if you like

this round’s unboxing vid, cozy february 2020:

 

the A/V book/incantation of the story, read in the same cozy february 2020:

…and scans of each zinewear, named as before according to the words i strung in letter beads along their handles; one by one, front and back, this time presented in almost-alphabetical order since that’s where my filing system landed;

thanks again to jade novarino of conduit/penny press for letting me use her giant scanner and her nailpolish collection, so fun and deep (the scanner and the nailpolish collection and the experience of being at conduit and being so generously offered access to them)

here they are:

  1. bobbi jumpi

bobbi jumpi 1bobbi jumpi 2

2.  bumpy charm

bumpy charm 1bumpy charm 2

3. caterpillar mist

caterpillar mistcaterpillar mist 2

4. chug fog & vibe muck

chug fog and vibe muck 1chug fog and vibe muck 2

5. dear fury

dear fury 1dear fury 2

6.  energy panorama (for samimi– inside is a blank book called “mimi’s dreams”)

energy panorama 1energy panorama 2

7. gadget castle

gadget castle 1gadget castle 2

8. goof sky tmi

goof sky tmi 1goof sky tmi 2

9. math soup

math soup 1math soup 2

10. movie bubble

movie bubble 1movie bubble 2

11. path vision

path vision 2path vision 1

 

12. plaid pantry

plaid pantry 1plaid pantry 2

13. poppy mappy

poppy mappy1poppy mappy2

14. quic fidjit

quic fidjit 1quic fidjit 2

15. sry lvr

sry lvr 1sry lvr 2

16. syzygy kappa

syzygy kappa 1syzygy kappa 22

17.  vicks & faxvicks fax 1vicks fax 2

18. vroommm dudevroom dude 1vroom dude 2

19. majorly achey (scanned on my parents’ scanner with different fingernail look, maybe gave away by jade as per my request)

majorly achey 1majorly achey 2

❤ there u have it! reach out if u have any qs or answers

❤ victoria

jubilee zinevella wip

jubilee zinewear

i’ve been thinking about jubilee for awhile– the xmen character Jubilee was my favorite back when my brother got the comic books in the early 90s. She seemed cool, her and Gambit

It was probably around that same time that i first heard of Queen Victoria’s Diamond Jubilee as well, the 50th year of her queenhood, a big celebration. I’m not sure if I knew about biblical jubilee by then but if not it came soon after, and that was the best jubilee of all to me– a forgiveness of debts

i read it or valued it as a regularly-scheduled reset pattern embedded in social time. or maybe that’s more a way the concept impressed itself to me as i mulled it

anyway, this idea of jubilee has been resting with me and bubbling up, i think it’s important to consider. so i’ve been considering it, and in my way, i have made something of this thought, woven slash tangled around some other ribbons of thought and feeling, memory and imagination i’ve got going on. where these thoughts and how i feel about them /act on them/ write about them/ make in order to hold them has gotten me, you can see or reach towards below.

it started off as a story, it’s a story about a person on a decidedly nonlinear quest at a future-fictional version of burning man 2020. i named it jubilee, and one of the places i keep the story is in a gdoc which you can see a version of here if you like. after working on this story very slowly and sporadically for years, it was getting to the time where 2020 didn’t feel much like the future anymore, it was creeping up quickly, and i was feeling a little urgency to “do something with” the story somehow while it could still seem speculative. something about having it set in 2020 and having 2020 be the future was important to me for whatever reason, certain plot elements play factors probs

and an opportunity to do something with it presented itself this summer, when I went to the Art Farm Nebraska for a residency type thing. I had initially applied to Art Farm with a friend to work together on bringing new life into a long-dormant epic poem collab we had started on MySpace back in oh 06 or so– but she ended up not being able to make it, and so I had this time on my hands to do something with Jubilee.

I knew I wanted to print it in zine form, center stapled and I wanted to call it a zinevella, zine+novella mal- or slant-portmonteau (a la chocoholic)

i knew i wanted to customize copies to give away to artists and friends i respect and admire but i didn’t have a real sense of what I wanted to do customize-wise until one day in maybe late July when i was grumpy i did a strange stretchy dance on my front porch to soothe myself and a few minutes later the idea / materials / making-way made it into my head:

a la book jackets, the floppy flat sturdy pages that curl around hardbacks, i thought i could make zinewear, which i envisioned as more femme and purselike protective structures, with long looping handles and a wire suspension to catch the center of the book on. this was a couple weeks before i left for art farm so i started collecting the materials: welding wire and ring terminals from my bosses and vendors in the mechanic shop at the tree farm i work for day job, candy beads and fabric from my stash, various implements, scissors etc and I packed it all up. i got a couple more things in grand island once i got to nebraska, too, clothes from the thrift shop to cut up.

once i got to the art farm, i was lucky that i had the time and space and things to make something pretty similar to what i had envisioned, including some relics below: a reveal video, an unboxing video, scans of the front and back of each zinevella in their zinewear; i also planned on having a videobook of me reading jubilee aloud there to share, but my computer didn’t accept the file, so i had to re-do it here once I arrived back in Boring, Oregon, in my parents’ side yard.

Anyway, this is all a WIP, I like the zinewear and i’m gonna keep working on the story cause it needs it and especially the reading-aloud process helped me get a better sense of what and how i want to edit– i had thought somehow it would be cool or important to *not* edit it much, and maybe it was, but now i think it might be time. so feel free to check back at the link above to track changes, and in the meantime or whenever, you can also see Jubilee zinevella in its various forms as it was in mid August 2019 below  ❤

reveal vid:

 

and the unboxing vid, seeming very happy and relaxed, i had such a good time at Art Farm Nebraska : ) :

and scans of each zinewear, named according to the words i strung in letter beads along their handles; one by one, front and back, on an old scanner that allowed for some fun approaches, in the order i scanned them in:

  1. flower love (belongs to Samimi)

flower love 1flower love 2

2. vocal cave

vocal cave 1vocal cave 2

3. moody and fancy

moody and fancy 1moody and fancy 2

4. tinkerbell

tinkerbell 1tinkerbell 2

5. hummingbird

hummingbird 1hummingbird 2

6. part fake

part fake 1part fake 2

7. disco flag

disco flag 1disco flag 2

8. numb jig

numb jig 1numb jig 2

9. rock dove music

rock dove 1rock dove 2

10. this woozy

this woozy 1this woozy 2

11. plur moodz

plur moodz 1plur moodz 2

12. prank meme

prank meme 1prank meme 2

13. urge pact

urge pact 1urge pact 2

14. gnomic binge

gnomic binge 1gnomic binge 2

15. xtc jester

xtc jester 1xtc jester 2

16. mock vampy

mock vampy 1mock vampy 2

17. witch hymn

witch hymn 1witch hymn 2

18. aqua sox

aqua sox 1aqua sox 2

19. squid kid

squid kid 1squid kid 2

 

as the scanning process progressed, it was fun to play with hand placement and movement and watch smeary rainbows and extra fingers emerge in the images–

i think they turned out nice, i love making scanner art

one more piece of this collection: the videobook i made reading the story aloud, captured in ~10min sections– a link to the youtube playlist thereof here, and below the too-long description i tried to include as the playlist description:

welcome to the audiobook version of jubilee zinevella wip recorded in my parents’ side yard on the night of August 25th! this was the 3rd time i had read this zinevella out loud into the photo booth program of my macbook– the first two times (first up in the treehouse at Art Farm Nebraska, second at Dodge Park where the Bull Run and Sandy Rivers converge) i read until the battery was dead and/or the memory was full — the first time the file was invisible, the second unreadable, so this time i did it in littler slivers of time/energy and guess what 3rd time’s a charm 🙂 i’m a little sleepy at the end of a long weekend, and the sound is a little choppy and muffled from the rustling of the pages and the weight of them sometimes hiding the mic from my voice or vice versa. enjoy as you can given these conditions and the rest of the conditions in your life! it’s a story about a person on a decidedly nonlinear quest at a future-fictional version of burning man 2020 ❤ xoxo (if you are watching this beyond 2020, imagine it in a future-fictional version of burningman one year ahead of you)

Screen Shot 2019-08-31 at 11.40.54 AM

all this with made with PLUR and other fond feelings from me ❤

will bubble

i’m not the only one good at guessing middle names or good at getting satisfaction from it to boot

two french braids

she parted my hair freestyle

shiny waves the next daypersonal

 

annoyingly soulmate

24/7 connection includes pockets of deadzone,

how the thing is a subgenre of its opposite and vice-versa

 

“they accept one another in their mysterious silences,” she tweeted, for what reason, cozy with quotes

tilting through the seasons

our orbital coils

 

hidden punctuation

the internet is disappearing

 

poems read backwards but how

paragraph scrambler

words with friends

 

findsaway

primary grey

 

 

april showers bring may flowers

the drop of water down the back of jeff goldblum’s hand

twice

 

THX sound for the first time at the mall theater in 6th grade

 

the way it whined down to prove itself, sonorously

clackamas town center

forrest gump summer

 

jurassic park theme song on the saxophone in 7th grade school band

what did she play? clarinet.

 

i told her ghost on facebook today,

“holding memories of us close to the surface,”

but it’s all a swirling nearbyness–

 

death’s uncanny valleys

curvatures

feeling spotblind

 

but then , following the creek past the gravel on the side of the drive, thru the fir grove where we climbed trees defiantly, hid in them, there you are

your magnetic backyard, the trampoline, the treelined sunshine

your mom’s lop warren to the side there, we never really went in anymore,

 

physical presence in the form of surroundings

as they say, a sense of place

 

o how your suite of feelings fascinated and preoccupied me!

your handwriting and your maudlin disdain

moments of confident hyperfocused taste, how much you loved what you loved

 

maybe it was the strength of the love that skewed the rest

mutant dandelions only

downpours only